like hugging a cactus

I do not like hugs. I never know what to do with my arms. Or my hips, I sometimes end up in this strange sideways position like I'm trying to hide a boner which doesn't make any sense because, vagina. Also, I always end up going in the same direction as my hugger during the approach which can get super awkward.

The whole situation just makes me uneasy, it makes my butt sweat a little and just generally stresses me out. 

I think maybe I'm like a koala when it comes to hugging. Sure, it may look like you want to hug me however, upon closer inspection you will note a scratched out sign around my neck that says "beware! I bite!"

Something I hate even more than hugs is when girls say "I love you" to me. It puts a weird taste in my mouth and makes me want to throw my uterus on the floor.


21 comments:

  1. I went through a long period of time between the ages of 7 and 16 where I really didn't enjoy hugs. I would just stand there like an awkward beanbag and wait for it to be over... I don't think my mother really appreciated this. =P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I was born not liking hugs. Even though "hug" was actually my first word.

      weird.

      Delete
  2. I HEAR you. You know how i feel about hugs...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do, Gia. You and I, we get how to do life right.

      Delete
  3. Most huggers have no idea that non-huggers even exist and if they do, they cannot possibly fathom why. I've found that these are the same people who have no sense of personal space and hover within that 3 ft zone at will.

    Touchers suck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TOUCHERS ARE NOT OKAY! I agree. Maybe I will wear a sign around my neck on particularly bad days.

      Delete
  4. I'm not a hugger. But I do tell people that I love them. Oh well, can't win 'em all! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oooh Stephanie. You're still my friend.

      Delete
  5. Hugging is for old people...and spouses. Even then it can still be a bit awkward!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hugging IS for old people.

      Humping should be a thing that replaces hugging.

      Delete
  6. So from what I've read here, and on other blogs, most people don't like hugging. Or is it just a blogger thing? Maybe no one likes it but feel socially obliged to do it... maybe we need a revolution.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. seriously what's wrong with all of us?!

      Delete
  7. I feel this way about cheek kissing. I never know which side to turn my head and inevitably, I encounter the awkward almost kiss on the lips or the dreaded kiss on the ear. Can't we all just stand at a distance and wave hello?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it would be very hard to live in France with the cheek kissing, it's how they say hello and goodbye. You'd probably end up kissing some seriously weird parts of people's faces, like their eye crusts.

      Never move to France.

      Delete
  8. I'm the same way I hate hugs, actually afraid of them. When my friends go to hug each other I just slowly back away..then they attack me in hugs..) I've worn a sign that said hug me and I'll bite you. people didn't believe me till it was too late XD

    ReplyDelete
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