Meet Eke

Friends, lovers, mothers and other fuckers,

My name is eke - welcome to my world! 

I am a ridiculous cartoon bug with precious social skills and a sardonic sense of humour. Sometimes I am funny, sometimes I am not. Most people describe me as a promiscuous borderline alcoholic with rage issues, a tenuous grip on reality and very few morals. Nope.

I am just a little wide eyed bug with big dreams and a weird bi-sexual vibe.

sloppy buckets of fuck,
eke

eke@candyforbfast.com

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known facts about eke  

- eke hates pulp and eating anything warm and lumpy

- eke's goal in life is to own a tiny manatee in a fish bowl named Earl.

- Her drink of choice is red wine (pounding grape), which she refers to as her "slut juice" and tequila when shit gets serious, which she refers to as "whore sauce"

- She loves mustache rides

- eke's favourite curse words include "flark!" and "pwomp"

- eke's drag name is Flu Fla Flarken

- eke is almost 200 years old

- eke hates to be touched and believes hugs are little pieces of disgusting wrapped in annihilation

- eke is scared of people who collect stickers and seedless watermelons make her sad (because like, what if they wanted a baby?!)

10 comments:

  1. Oh GOSH you make me so so so happy. This is a blast to read :D

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  2. You. sound. AWESOME!!! wanna hang?

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  3. Thank you. But how are we going to hang if you post anonymously, dummy?

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    Replies
    1. hahahaha!!! looooser! :D you are hilarious, candyforbreakfast! :))

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  4. Ohhh, no watermelon babies - that's so sad.

    ReplyDelete