Halloweeners. Ha. Weeners.

the presidential erection

American presidential elections are so dramatically exciting.

I mean, binders full of women? Legitimate rape? Bayonets? A guy named Newt?!! I can't get enough!

Compared to France - where our presidential elections are usually a matter of voting between tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber to help our country decide whether it wants to guillotine its own face off or shoot itself in the weener - the American presidential elections are like Vegas, high traffic, a lot of glitter and full of possibilities.

Where is Allie Brosh?


Waking up is hard to do

a pregnant pause

eke is not handling this news very well...

To be fair, neither did I. When I found out that husband had filled my vagina with the filthy semen that will eventually become our child, I was in complete shock.

While husband can take his sweet time getting use to the idea -  on account that he has nine months or so to adjust - I, on the other hand, was immediately slapped across the face by mother nature. bitch.

One minute I was blissfully drunk on an island in the Caribbean, the next I was back home peeing on a stick and SPLAT - my life was instantaneously stripped of all the good in the world.

No Alcohol (oh, sweet satan juice how I miss you) 
No Coffee
No Cigarettes
No Soft cheese
No Smoked seafood
No Raw meat
No Deli meat
No Shellfish
No anything unpasteurised

I feel like women should get some kind of temporary pregnancy reprieve to experience something of a 'last hoorah'. A zygote-free night, with lots of explosions, minor nudity, pink wine and lots of tuxedos. Then we can go back to being pregnant.
 But that's not how it works, unfortunately, because mother nature is a vagina hating lunatic.

Where is Allie Brosh?


Is anyone still out there??

If so, you better put some seatbelts on your ears, cause Im about to take them for the ride of their lives...

To document this disgusting event, I have started another website complete with cartoons and my signature batshit humour. If anyone is still out there, please visit www.nuggetdiaries.blogspot.com