shakin' like a dog shittin' peach pits

My neighbour and part time trophy wife is a lovely English rose. She is pure in thought, word and deed...and that's why we're soul mates. I was put on this earth to pollute her clam.

Trophy wife has an amazing KateWinsletteJudiDenchHughGrant -esque accent with which I use to narrate my life with in my head (in her accent, "beer can" sounds like "bacon" with a Jamaican accent).

Out of nowhere one day, trophy wife spoke with an American accent and it was weird. Like, "paddle faster I hear banjos" weird. She went from proper English rose to Southern bucktoothed weed in a flash and I loved every minute of it.


  1. I love trophy wife!!! xx Sammy

  2. The Southern buck-toothed weed reminds me of a co-worker of mine...except more entertaining, and less annoying.