the flu reporting for duty

My life has been cancelled. 

And I am mute. I do not like to sound like hoarse Marge Simpson, I do not. I mean c'mon immune system! Quit being a little bitch making me wait for you to do your job - get it together!

And I cough. Oh how I cough. And when I do so in public, everybody stares me down like I've just eaten a baby's face.

I need a blanket for my insides.

And I look like I belong on nightmare before Christmas. If boys make direct eye contact with me, their penis may actually turn to stone.


  1. me too, to all of it. I take public transit and today was interesting. I coughed up a phlegm ball into a tissue and you would have thought it was on fire the way people looked at me. Get well soon, funny stranger

  2. Trisharella, I feel your pain. The flu is taking it's sweet bloody time leaving my body and Im still coughing on strangers. Only now I do it on purpose and with a smile on my face so as to be extra creepy. Fuck the police, ya know?