shakin' like a dog shittin' peach pits
My neighbour and part time trophy wife is a lovely English rose. She is pure in thought, word and deed...and that's why we're soul mates. I was put on this earth to pollute her clam.
Trophy wife has an amazing KateWinsletteJudiDenchHughGrant -esque accent with which I use to narrate my life with in my head (in her accent, "beer can" sounds like "bacon" with a Jamaican accent).
Out of nowhere one day, trophy wife spoke with an American accent and it was weird. Like, "paddle faster I hear banjos" weird. She went from proper English rose to Southern bucktoothed weed in a flash and I loved every minute of it.
Trophy wife has an amazing KateWinsletteJudiDenchHughGrant -esque accent with which I use to narrate my life with in my head (in her accent, "beer can" sounds like "bacon" with a Jamaican accent).
hugs
awww.
I actually hate hugs. I don't like gettin'em and I don't like givin'em. I am like a frggin' koala, it may look like you want to hug me, but upon closer inspection you will see a small scratched out sign around my neck that says "back up off, I'll scratch your shit apart".
I also hate when girls say "I love you" to me. It puts a weird taste in my mouth and makes me want to throw my uterus on the floor.
And, unless youre a Thai female, I hate massages too.
I just realised that my facebook button was being a donkey. I've fixed it now.
I've decided that I need to get to 500 fans. And there is a prize in it for the 500th fan as well as for the person who referred he/she/it. The prize may be a chunk of wildabeast's unkempt hair, a cartoon about you, a rocket ship, an eke t-shirt, some gold, a raccoon...who the blurg knows. Just help this moi get to 500 and we'll talk.
Being stuck at 467 is giving me diarrhoea cramps.
I've decided that I need to get to 500 fans. And there is a prize in it for the 500th fan as well as for the person who referred he/she/it. The prize may be a chunk of wildabeast's unkempt hair, a cartoon about you, a rocket ship, an eke t-shirt, some gold, a raccoon...who the blurg knows. Just help this moi get to 500 and we'll talk.
Being stuck at 467 is giving me diarrhoea cramps.
ohhh sheet
one sheet left? challenge accepted mother fucker.
and if youre ever in a real pickle - use the hair-dryer!
acoustics of crotch kicking
I was having a conversation with my friend about how that day at work I had slammed into the turnstile vagina first (thump) and thought of this...
male crotch kicking sounds like this:
female crotch kicking sounds like this:
male crotch kicking sounds like this:
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