I need things

I just need a fucking robot.

Because some days I lose my pencils and can't find my life and I end up accidentally smashing into walls like a mole on meth. So I need some kind of intelligent machine to follow me around and help with with things. And it would be made out of pillows because that way it would be nice, cause you can't be mean when you're made of god damn pillows.


18 comments:

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    1. I'll contact Kim Jong-un - I feel like this is a matter for the North Koreans.

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  2. A robot would definitely make life easier. Until it got all self-aware and started killing people.

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    1. but it's made of pillows! It HAS to be nice. Who's gonna be scared of a pillow?

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  3. I concur. I need the ability to apparate.

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  4. The only thing you need right now is to collect all these little cartoons and publish. The way you write and draw is awesome-ness itself.

    ****************************************************************

    And as I walk away.... plop... plop... plop.... giant elephant turds.

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    1. Bozo be crazy!

      I can't get published. I write about vaginas and write about spider monkeys!

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  5. I wish Google would work that way...I need it to desperately! :D

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    1. I know. I can't life right. I feel like it would help me with that.

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  6. Ha ha ha ha and then...
    now THAT would be scary!
    Bozo's right - are you published? Are you in a mag somewhere? and a book definitely...

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    1. Scary? Or awesome?

      The thought of google knowing everything about me does make me feel fartish, but sometimes I just want to google "what the fuck did I do with my glasses!" ya know?

      And what is this nonsense about me being published!? I am so FLATTERED...but alas I am nowhere in print. Just this blog. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I were to even want to get published...do I write to the president? I dont know. I'm sweaty about it.

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    2. Find a magazine/s that suits your style and approach them to contribute a cartoon each issue - for money of course or trial at first.

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  7. Who doesn't want their own personal slave... er I mean robot? Especially a robot made of pillows! I mean after all that hard work that you make the robot do, it would be nice to just lay down and take a nap on some cozy robot pillows!

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  8. I'd rather have a monkey butler, but a robot would be a close second.

    Also, fun fact: if you Google "Google," it just says "You're an asshole."

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    1. I definitely googled "google" after I read this and oddly enough it brought me to google.

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  9. I wish Google was like a genie in a bottle...granting wishes other than search results.

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