like hugging a cactus

I do not like hugs. I never know what to do with my arms. Or my hips, I sometimes end up in this strange sideways position like I'm trying to hide a boner which doesn't make any sense because, vagina. Also, I always end up going in the same direction as my hugger during the approach which can get super awkward.

The whole situation just makes me uneasy, it makes my butt sweat a little and just generally stresses me out. 

I think maybe I'm like a koala when it comes to hugging. Sure, it may look like you want to hug me however, upon closer inspection you will note a scratched out sign around my neck that says "beware! I bite!"

Something I hate even more than hugs is when girls say "I love you" to me. It puts a weird taste in my mouth and makes me want to throw my uterus on the floor.


17 comments:

  1. EllenMarch 20, 2012 at 6:13 PM

    I went through a long period of time between the ages of 7 and 16 where I really didn't enjoy hugs. I would just stand there like an awkward beanbag and wait for it to be over... I don't think my mother really appreciated this. =P

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    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:12 PM

      I think I was born not liking hugs. Even though "hug" was actually my first word.

      weird.

      Delete
  2. GiaMarch 20, 2012 at 6:40 PM

    I HEAR you. You know how i feel about hugs...

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    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:11 PM

      I do, Gia. You and I, we get how to do life right.

      Delete
  3. Ach du lieberMarch 20, 2012 at 7:03 PM

    Most huggers have no idea that non-huggers even exist and if they do, they cannot possibly fathom why. I've found that these are the same people who have no sense of personal space and hover within that 3 ft zone at will.

    Touchers suck.

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    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:11 PM

      TOUCHERS ARE NOT OKAY! I agree. Maybe I will wear a sign around my neck on particularly bad days.

      Delete
  4. StephanieMarch 20, 2012 at 10:06 PM

    I'm not a hugger. But I do tell people that I love them. Oh well, can't win 'em all! ;)

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    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:10 PM

      oooh Stephanie. You're still my friend.

      Delete
  5. WorkingdanMarch 20, 2012 at 11:07 PM

    Hugging is for old people...and spouses. Even then it can still be a bit awkward!

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    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:09 PM

      Hugging IS for old people.

      Humping should be a thing that replaces hugging.

      Delete
  6. AnonymousMarch 21, 2012 at 4:36 AM

    So from what I've read here, and on other blogs, most people don't like hugging. Or is it just a blogger thing? Maybe no one likes it but feel socially obliged to do it... maybe we need a revolution.

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:08 PM

      seriously what's wrong with all of us?!

      Delete
  7. alainaMarch 22, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    I feel this way about cheek kissing. I never know which side to turn my head and inevitably, I encounter the awkward almost kiss on the lips or the dreaded kiss on the ear. Can't we all just stand at a distance and wave hello?!

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    1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 5:09 PM

      it would be very hard to live in France with the cheek kissing, it's how they say hello and goodbye. You'd probably end up kissing some seriously weird parts of people's faces, like their eye crusts.

      Never move to France.

      Delete
  8. AyshMarch 24, 2012 at 10:49 PM

    I LOVE YOU *hug*

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  9. jessie-anneMay 20, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    I'm the same way I hate hugs, actually afraid of them. When my friends go to hug each other I just slowly back away..then they attack me in hugs..) I've worn a sign that said hug me and I'll bite you. people didn't believe me till it was too late XD

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