pregnancy

Most immature thing about me: it makes me uncomfortable when people tell me they are pregnant.

Not because the thought of that person having sex makes me uncomfortable or that I don't like kids. In fact, I actually like being around pregnant women because they tend to be really open about their lady parts and tell me about them in great detail. When my older sister dickhead was pregnant with Napoleon I got to learn all about how  a woman's pikachu turns purple and also mucus plugs.

No, it's not the pregnancy that makes me uncomfortable, it's the physical announcement that makes me twitch. Cause of the congratulations.

When it comes down to the moment you are meant to congratulate someone on their pregnancy, I go right to the peen. All I can think about is how I am essentially congratulating someone for not having made a cum stain.

My brain activates psychological chaos mode and my butt starts to sweat cause all I can do is think about how funny the situation actually is and then I start to picture myself patting their genitals in a congratulatory manner which is uncomfortable and funny at the same time so I am trying not to giggle or spray-spit laugh and I'm still sweating and then I explode on the inside.

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