zeke & eke

best friends forever.

Venereal Disease

With the impending doom of Valentine's Day creeping up on us, I have made these cards (left side is the front, right side is the inside). Please contact me if you are interested in either of these, orginals in watercolours are also available!

tramp tales

I don't know if you guys have heard - but apparently whores now need to look like they've been bathing in Cheetos their whole lives. I say this because after recently coming back from the US where I got to watch some seriously awesome reality TV shows, I realised that all the whores I love to hate all look like Mr. Drum (from the Mr. Men series, see below)

I understand the need for the orange complexion about as much as I understand the need for a rectum on your elbow (I do not understand it at all).

Cheeto face is what is wrong with the world, probably. Wait, no, the make-up that is most likely just Nutella which is meant to emulate Cheeto face is worse.

"Damn Gina! If only she were more orange and smelled like acid, I would totes tap that ass!"- said no one. ever.

Here are a few cartoons about whores:

  

zeke is a badass duck

omg.animated. glitter. smoke..

a duck's life

Do you ever have one of those days where everyone else's life seems better than yours? When I have those days, I usually end up getting jealous of my dog's life, or in today's case - a duck.

I bet ducks never get migraines.

zeke

There's a new character in town.

Meeting zeke the drunk duck.

the blackout

Before I figured out how to bypass the blackout on Wikipedia, yesterday was interesting. I had to do a load of research on Nicaragua's current economic climate. My go-to starting point for my research tends to be Wikipedia, not necessarily for the content but for the article references. But I was Wikipedialessness for a while there and I was terrified for my life. And then I started thinking - well what if Google went down?...INSTANT SHITSTORM, is what.
           

On another note, apparently, I do not require to be sexed any longer as the government is currently fucking my brains out. I mean, okay - taxes, screw with healthcare, invent vegetables, make me jump through hoops to get an education - FINE, I can deal. But how DARE YOU mess with my internet! 

The unhelpful laws SOPA and PIPA would ultimately take down this site, so government -  thanks for nothing, stupid!  

(incidentally, I tried to black out with my sack out yesterday, but I could not figure out how to do it without deleting my blourg entirely.) 

the flu reporting for duty

My life has been cancelled. 

And I am mute. I do not like to sound like hoarse Marge Simpson, I do not. I mean c'mon immune system! Quit being a little bitch making me wait for you to do your job - get it together!

And I cough. Oh how I cough. And when I do so in public, everybody stares me down like I've just eaten a baby's face.

I need a blanket for my insides.

And I look like I belong on nightmare before Christmas. If boys make direct eye contact with me, their penis may actually turn to stone.

the tunnel

What's new with you guys??

eke is back!

Holidays are over and having been away from home for almost a month, it feels great to be home sleeping in my own bed.

What's not so fucking great is this flu I came home with. If any of you would like some sweat tea, I seem to be producing it in bulk.